Dear Santa,

I wrote you a letter. I wonder if you ever read it?
I've only one wish that I ask you - it's the same old thing as every other year.
This year, I can't say I've been perfect. I'm pretty sure I've got a regret or two... but Santa, please don't hold it against me. This time I'm counting on you to...

Bring me Love?

And you did exactly that. And I didn't notice until two days later. *Smiles and shakes her head* No wonder Christmas isn't the same any more, I've almost lost all sense of the real meaning of it.

But seriously.

Earlier this year, all I wanted was a hug and a kiss. Someone to tell me that I'm beautiful, and someone to tell me that they love me, and mean it. Someone who will smile every time they see me for the first time, whether they're in a crappy mood or not. And I got that.

Call me cliché, but I couldn't have asked for a better present.
( Isn't that nice? )( Isn't that nice? )I got the perfect Christmas present this year, and I didn't even notice it.

Chocolate is so good - and the pineapple is delicious.

Dear Santa,

I wrote you a letter. I wonder if you ever read it?
I've only one wish that I ask you - it's the same old thing as every other year.
This year, I can't say I've been perfect. I'm pretty sure I've got a regret or two... but Santa, please don't hold it against me. This time I'm counting on you to...

Bring me Love?

And you did exactly that. And I didn't notice until two days later. *Smiles and shakes her head* No wonder Christmas isn't the same any more, I've almost lost all sense of the real meaning of it.

But seriously.

Earlier this year, all I wanted was a hug and a kiss. Someone to tell me that I'm beautiful, and someone to tell me that they love me, and mean it. Someone who will smile every time they see me for the first time, whether they're in a crappy mood or not. And I got that.

Call me cliché, but I couldn't have asked for a better present.

( Isn't that nice? )( Isn't that nice? )
I got the perfect Christmas present this year, and I didn't even notice it.

Chocolate is so good - and the pineapple is delicious.

I gots a pineapple for Christmas.

Fellow readers, as we all know it is the end of November – practically the beginning of December – a time for celebration of the winter solstice and Christmas / Yule season. Also, my birthday is soon. And Jesse’s birthday is today. Happy birthday, Jesse!

Now, taking a look back at this year – starting from the earliest months – you’d think that this was one of the worst years on record for a single person. Obviously, this is my journal, so this is going to be centered on the year I have had. Read: You would think that this year has been the worst year of my life. I can guarantee you; it has been everything but the worst year of my life. If I started on the first three months, and focused on that, as if the year only had three months, then sure, it would have been the worst year of my life to date. But no, three months is only a quarter of the year. And it was only so horrible because I was heart-broken, depressed because of the Winter-season (self-diagnosed S.A.D. right here!), and I was focusing on the bad. Yeah, I have an unfortunate tendency to do that when things just don’t go my way, and I deem them unfair. You’re never really heart-broken anyway, because let’s face it: If your heart was really broken, you’d be dead. So, I was hurting. But look at me! I didn’t kill myself that one day I almost did, I’m still around, and... I wouldn’t even have left a note; just my journal explaining everything depressing and being so dramatic because I was so emotionally unstable and hurt. Oh, and I was guilt-tripping myself to high-hell... which I am never doing again. (But I can’t seem to apologize enough for what I did, obviously. :P) January 10th, I came back from my trip. I told Rob everything on January 12th (I’m pretty sure it was that date, though I don’t really care when it was if you want me to be honest. XD) and then, until about April 20th, or even the beginning of June, I was in the worst place I had ever been. Ever! So far away from the person I wanted to be, from the person I was trying to become, really. I’d say April 20th really; because April 1st is the first day I got out of the house to do stuff involving physical activities. Stuff like Rollerblading outside and such, just to clear my mind and feel the cool breeze against my body. It was needed. And that’s when everything started to get better, on April 1st. On that day, I got my V. College acceptance letter. You should have seen the look on my face – it was brighter than a light bulb, brighter than your 2,000,000 candle-light powered flashlights even, brighter than a kid on Christmas. – I was radiating with joy and fulfillment, really. To me, it’s the only thing I wanted for this year, at the time. Granted, there was always the lingering feeling of being lonely, but I had my friends. I had my family. I had people to keep my spirits uplifted, to keep a smile on my face. When I got the letter and opened it and saw that I had been accepted? Well, let’s just say that later that day I received a message from someone, and that barely got to me. I was too happy to care about anyone else that wasn’t in my life at the moment.

Talk about a ride – and there is certainly no pun intended this time – I met Yazz, I got a job, I got accepted into college, I was heart-broken, I went Trick-or-Treating, I went to La Ronde (AKA Six Flags) with my cousins, I’ve made new friends (which, oddly enough, is something I haven’t done in a while), I’ve seen old-friends, I’ve been in trouble, I’ve gotten caught, I’ve patched things up, I’ve been the source of problems... wow.

So, January, February and March were not exactly the fruit of this year. Those three months served me well in defining the rest of the year for the better part of it, really. If I had to compare every day to the first three months of this year, every day is like paradise. OK, that’s pushing it – as I said, the only reason the first three months or even 5 months of this year sucked so hard was because I couldn’t find a job and I couldn’t get off of my ass to do it. Then I got a job at VMC, thanks to Miguel, and everything picked up. EVERYTHING. Family was alright and things were getting better, I ended up in the evening shift for a week, the day shift for a week, and then another two weeks for the evening shift again. I can tell you now; I currently much prefer the evening shift during the summer. June, July, and August is where it all picked up and everything just went: “You know what Jen, you’ve had enough of this sillyness, I’ve had enough of this sillyness, so let’s pick it up for you for a little bit, alright?” and then it did. I got a job at VMC, courtesy of Miguel. This was the beginning of July. My first week at work, and... haha, yeah. That was something. Then the second week hit – oh, that was even more something. The first week is where everything started, though, coincidentally enough. Then the middle of July hit – that’s where problems started again, but... I guess blew-over rather quickly. Then everything was alright for a while, though I was confused, I was in a much better place. I met Yazz my first week there, through... well. Now, obviously that’s a bias right there – the first glance I caught of him, I checked him out. At that moment he didn’t even know I existed, and I’m not kidding about that. In a funny and somehow (un)fortunate turn of events, he knew Adrian. Or, Adrian knew him. He also knew Ethan and Brian, but I never really conversed with either of ‘em. Um, let’s just say that when Adrian introduced us, and I realized he had glasses, I was interested. See, now here’s the thing: I’m naturally quiet when I meet someone at first. It’s just something I do, I go quiet because I don’t know what they like, or what they don’t like. Although I find I’m a rather easily approachable person, and it has more or less proved me right time and time again. Anywho, I thought he was gay. You guys remember that, right? Oh jesus, he’s never going to let me live that down. How could you blame me? He had the two-shirt thing going on, really nice glasses, really fitting pants... and a heart-sticker on his work-card. I thought he was gay. ...Which didn’t hurt as much as finding out he had a girl-friend? During the first week of work, I was majorly crushing on him – to the point where I actually didn’t go into the “cafe” one day and instead actually asked one of my co-workers who I was working with on a project at the time if I could follow them around. (It’s funny. He smiled, and said yeah. We didn’t talk. At all. We just sat and ate.) It was quite the high-school-quiet-shy-girl rampage I was on, yes. Oh, man. I remember it so well. He was making a coffee and I was just watching him, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. And then he adjusted his glasses and I would have made a little squeaking noise had I have been going through the squeak-phase at that time. But no, I just filled with awesome-panic-induced anxiety, freaked out, found Paul (who is the name of this co-worker), and asked him if I could follow him around for lunch. Every Friday while I was at work, Adrian, Shak, Yazz + I would go out and walk around Montréal. Talk about crazy stuff. Finding a Penis Pump, a bunch of hobo-drunk-Asians (which was really, really weird for me), and Shak getting asked if he had any drugs. That was funny. But, yeah. July was one hell of a good month.

August was no different – I got into school, I was hanging out with Yazz, we started going out with each other on the 20th of August (We have a date for everything, which is kind of funny considering we don`t actually like dating. Lol.)

September came around, and everything was going smoothly. Then October hit, and things started to spiral out of control again – everywhere. Family wasn’t going that great again, things with friends – especially – were spiralling out of control (and, really, they still aren’t that great, but they are getting better... slowly, I guess.)

I wouldn’t say this was the best year of my life. For that to happen, money would have to stop existing, which practically means the end of civilization as is. (Is it ironic that we’re facing a recession currently, or is it just coincidental?) Although I would certainly come close to saying that this year has been one of the most... craziest rides I’ve ever had, and I’ve been on more than 18 roller coasters so far. 

You know, I didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving this year... but I’m thankful for everything, absolutely everything that has happened to me this year. There are things that I can deal with a lot better now, instead of just constantly crying or putting it aside; all thanks to everything that’s happened. You know what? This year wasn’t so bad after-all.

Thanks. You know, I can never seem to stay on topic with journal entries like this. When it comes to talking about the year I've had, I always stray. *shrugs*