I'm at home. It's 3:26 PM on Saturday the 15th of March, 2009. I'm by myself.

I've been feeling lonely for the past few days. I noticed yesterday, when it was morning. *sighs* It... sucks. It does. Maybe I'm just thinking of certain things too much. Things that aren't important and I shouldn't be dwelling on them in the first place. I just... I can't help it.

The past two days have been... rather, the past four or five days have been something. It's not about someone 'filling in a void', either. I'm just feeling lonely. I don't know why. I've been giving it some thought, trying to figure out why. I mean, yesterday I was hanging out with Adrian - like we used to do, back in sec 2 3 4 and 5. And I don't think I was feeling it then. I might have been feeling distant, but that's because we don't hang out nearly as much any more. When I left, I was feeling better. Then I got home, shit flew again, and... at around 7 PM everything was normal.

"Normal? But Jen, define 'normal'"
...Everything was perfect. I might have been slightly annoyed, or still in a ranting mood. I might have been crying, or tearing up from earlier on in the day. But it was still perfect. It was still like every other day, dull, boring, practically meaningless.

I guess I'm bored, too. I'm not bored with the people I know, or the people around me. I'm just... bored of the routine. You know, Yazz? I really do need something constructive to do. Something that I'm genuinely interested in that I can do.

I'm bored of being on the PC. I'm kind of bored of gaming, and reading.

Then again, I guess it's because it's Spring. I'm waiting for it to be warm enough so I can go outside and run. Run happily. Be out of breath, completely red in the face, all at the same time feeling amazing. Whether it's running through rain for cover with Yazz (last summer? That was fun.) or if it's racing home on my bike before it starts pouring tsunamis.

I mean, when I hang out with a bunch of friends - even if I am distant, we're just chilling. Just relaxing. Just... I don't worry. I'm not Jen, when I'm with them. Not completely. I don't worry as much. I go to a friends house, immediately forget about everything that's happened, unless It's really getting to me. And it's only ever happened a few times that it's really gotten to me. *Takes a deep breath then sighs, leaning her head back against the chair*

Almost everything is moving way too fast for me. It was a nice change of pace at first. And now that I want it to slow down, it won't. Even I know this. I'm not worried that it won't. I'm not worried that it'll speed up even more, either. I'm almost expecting it to, now that the sun's out and the like.

But, like the title says. It's just me rambling.